


absolution

by minachandler



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Episode: s04e13 Sins of the Father, Gen, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14514993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minachandler/pseuds/minachandler
Summary: absəˈluːʃ(ə)n: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment.Or the time after 4x13 when Thea finds Nyssa in Laurel's kitchen in her underwear. (And a shirt. But it's Laurel's so it doesn't count.)





	absolution

**Author's Note:**

> I've had something of a dry spell recently, but I think I'm getting my mojo back - not necessarily with this fic but with one I have coming up that features earth-1 Laurel and Black Siren. In the meantime, here's a prompt fill from Tumblr (where my url is bisexuallaurellance and you should totally come follow me :) ). 
> 
> The prompt was: _"Laurel? Is that you?" Thea poked her head through the door._

“Laurel? Is that you?” Thea pokes her head through the door of Laurel's kitchen, and she raises her eyebrows in surprise when she sees Nyssa filling a glass with water. “Oh.”

It's strange, seeing Nyssa like this, in a plaid shirt of Laurel’s, panties and not much else - not even a weapon strapped to her ankle, which Thea half-expects even now. To her credit, Nyssa seems to be uncomfortable too, given how she shifts on the spot and avoids Thea’s eyes.

“How are you feeling, Thea?” Nyssa says eventually in an uncharacteristically small voice, her gaze firmly on her bare toes.

Thea shakes her head. “What are you doing here?”

“I - I can leave,” Nyssa says.

“That's not what I asked.”

“I am here because of Laurel. She - I - we...”

Despite everything, Thea can't help but smile slightly. “You mean she finally worked up the courage to ask the woman she's been head over heels in love with all year on an actual date?”

To Thea’s surprise, Nyssa smiles back. “Something like that. Not that she has ever lacked courage - she remains the most courageous person in my life, by far. It was more her...”

“...conscience?” Thea says after a second. “She thought being with you would be selfish. And she thought she was disrespecting Sara in the process.” Nyssa's brow creases in a frown, and Thea shrugs. “Come on, Nyssa. Laurel’s practically my sister. She tells me everything. If she didn't I would probably have asked you why you're in her kitchen in your underwear. And that's her shirt, so it doesn't count,” she adds with relish, and Nyssa chuckles.

“To answer your question… after we went for dinner, I suggested going to my safe house, but given I have disbanded the League of Assassins, the safe houses in Star City are most likely compromised now.”

“Yeah, I heard about that.”

“So Laurel said we should come here. But she also said you wouldn’t be back until later because you were going to visit your friend Sin in the Glades.”

“Don't talk about Sin like you know her,” Thea says before she can stop herself.

“You're right,” Nyssa says slowly. “I don't. Not really. But Sara… she asked me to watch over her family if anything were to happen to her. Sin included. I kept my promise.”

“Oh,” says Thea, because she's still unsure about this woman in her friend’s apartment, the way it's never really clear if Nyssa is hiding something or if she truly means what she says. “Well, we were just in Big Belly Burger and she said she had work tomorrow morning so she didn't want to stay out too late. So I thought I'd come home.”

“I understand that my presence in your home is not helping,” Nyssa says, again ducking her head and avoiding Thea’s eyes.

Thea folds her arms, waits, because she can feel the presence of the proverbial elephant in the room and it's still making her uneasy.

“I'm sorry for what I did,” Nyssa says finally. “With your father… with you. I should never have used your life to bargain for something that I, in the end, did not even want anymore. I should have brought the lotus to you as soon as I got out of Nanda Parbat. But I was so - consumed with rage at your father -”

“I can't exactly say I blame you on that one, for what it's worth,” Thea says, unable to keep the bitter edge from her voice. “I tried to have him killed once too, remember?”

“Perhaps it is not my place, or maybe my words won’t carry much weight, if any, given my… former profession, but I feel you were justified in your actions. After all, he took the one thing from you that no person ever should, especially when it comes to one’s own blood.”

Thea raises her eyebrows.

“I don't understand.”

“Agency, Thea. Bodily autonomy. Free will. He made you do something you never would have chosen to do.”

And Thea finds herself raising her eyebrows. “I didn't realise they taught feminism in League of Assassins 101.”

“They didn't,” Nyssa returns bitterly. “I learned that on my own. When the person writing my fate thought it appropriate to have my father force me into a marriage to a _man_ , of all people.”

“Well, I hear you fixed that one,” Thea says with a wry smile. “Just in time, too, if my brother manages to stay engaged, I mean.”

Nyssa nods slightly wearily. “None of that matters now. The fact remains that I wasn't thinking clearly and all that time your life was hanging in the balance,” Nyssa says. “And in the end it turned out I thought I was hungry for something I no longer have an appetite for. And for that I am sorry. I do not expect forgiveness from you, Thea, any more than from Laurel, so I don't think there is any point in asking for it.”

But at this Thea sighs. “Wanna hear something I had to learn for myself? Forgiveness is… complicated. And asking for it isn't just - absolution for the person who did something wrong. It's a way for the person who was wronged to get some closure, too. I like to think forgiveness is something you give someone else, but it's also something you give yourself.”

“When did you learn that?” Nyssa asks quietly.

There's silence for a long, drawn out moment. “This was just before I heard my mother die right in front of me,” Thea says at last. “I didn't see it. I didn't see Slade Wilson run through her with a sword, because her last words to me were to close my eyes, and I had spent my whole life not listening to her so to be honest I’m not sure why I listened then. But… not seeing her die means that even now, sometimes, when I close my eyes, in my head, all I can see, all that I can hear and feel is that moment all over again. And the reason I'm telling you this is because - it hurts. All the time. But I know that it would have hurt so much more if I thought my mom died thinking I didn't forgive her for her mistakes with me. So, sure, forgiving her was for her, but it was also for me. And she got it because she asked for it.”

“But that raises the question, Thea,” Nyssa says, “given everything I've done, just to you - where do I even _start_?”

“You already have,” Thea says simply. “You apologised to me. Which is more than what my father has done.”

“In fairness, he sets the bar exceedingly low.”

Thea shrugs. “True. Which is why you can do me a favour, if you feel like you need to make things up to me.”

She watches as Nyssa straightens her back against the kitchen counter. “Of course. Anything.”

And now Thea takes a step towards Nyssa, holding out her hand. After a second Nyssa takes it. “Just… be good to her, okay?”

“Okay,” Nyssa answers, and she lets go. Thea turns to leave, but then she looks back.

“Do you love her, Nyssa?” Thea asks. Nyssa raises her eyebrows, and Thea adds, “Look, I know Laurel. I’ve known her most of my life. And she's… always been all or nothing. Intense. With both my brothers. So I just wanna know -”

“- what my intentions are?” Nyssa says with a smile, and Thea manages a smile back, because she wasn't lying - forgiveness is a two-way street, and being able to speak more freely before Nyssa means Thea’s heart isn't as heavy. “I love her with everything in me. As for my intentions... I intend to endeavour to do whatever makes her happiest - even if the universe conspires against me in the process. But I also intend to be better - to her and to myself. Maybe then I will one day truly earn your forgiveness.”

At first Thea doesn’t reply, and she takes a few steps towards the open kitchen door. Just before she heads to her room, she says, without turning around, “As long as you take care of Laurel... you already have.”

**Author's Note:**

> That's it. This one's short, I know, and honestly I'm not sure about the end result but tbh it's taken me a while to get back into the game. I would love to know what you think, though, in the off-chance that you did like it, so be sure to leave a comment if you enjoyed. Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
